A Rush of Blood to the Head
by ASDF Rainbow Ninja
Summary: Jim is having a difficult time coping with Khan's blood. He's weak, can't keep anything down, and it's like he's always in pain, whether it be skull-splitting headaches and scorching fevers, or what's worse, hallucinations and nightmares caused by PTSD. Bones says it'll take some time for him to fully recover, but Jim is really worried about how he's suddenly in love with Spock...
1. Chapter 1

**A Rush of Blood to the Head**

**A/N- Here I am again, being completely unoriginal with my titles. Don't complain unless you can come up with something better! Lol**

**Okay so like this chapter is rated T because of language. It picks up right where Jim wakes up after two weeks of being out cold. There is some slight Spirk. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Jim's eyes shot open with a gasp, as if he were just learning how to breathe again (at least, it felt like that). He took a few more gasps of air, blinking against the harsh lights above him. He attempted to calm his racing heart and aching lungs by holding his breath for a moment before releasing it slowly. Then he wondered...

_Where am I?_

He looked to his right quickly in order to attempt to answer hisself, finding a mostly white, blurred figure who's voice he recognized before anything else.

"Oh, don't be so melo-dramatic. You were _barely_ dead." _Bones._ He held up a device to Jim's temple that seemed to scan his brain for any unusual activity and looked down at a PADD to read the results. "It was the transfusion that really took it's toll." He stepped away from Jim. Jim's eyebrows furrowed together as he turned to his best friend again, following his retreat, confusion etched all over his face. His blurry figure started to become clear, finally, and as did the entire room- _Why the hell is it so fucking white in here?_ The color itself was blinding him.

"You were out cold for two weeks." Bones continued, and Kirk nearly interrupted him to get out his question. "Transfusion?" His throat was sore and it hurt like a bitch to speak- even if it was barely. His hoarse tone was just above a whisper.

"Your cells were heavily radiated." Bones replied, pressing something cold to his chest. More check-up crap, but Jim couldn't bring himself to complain or care. "We had no choice." Jim remained confused for only a moment before he realized what his doctor was implying. He had died in the radiation chamber, behind the glass where Spock had been crying, hand pressed against the glass desperately. His crew had managed to capture the bastard who started this all, and used his blood to resurrect his dead corpse. With his eyes widening as much as they could under the bright lights of what seemed to be Medical Center, Jim whispered the name that left a bad taste in his mouth. "Khan."

Bones came back towards him again with another device. "Once we caught him, I synthesized a serum from his..." Bones paused to collect his thoughts and motion wildly, medical equipment still in hand, "super-blood." He leaned it a bit closer. "Now, tell me, are you feeling, uhhh, homicidal, power mad, despotic?" He ended his joke with a small grin that Jim felt himself returning involuntarily. "No more than usual." He took the next moment to ask what had been in the back of his mind since he figured out what had happened. "How'd you catch him?" Bones couldn't even hold back a smirk, and he pointed at himself for emphasis. "I didn't." Jim watched him stride away with confusion before he noticed a dark figure in the corner on the other side of the room he hadn't earlier. Kirk grinned widely, affection and happiness spreading through his body as the figure approached him with his hands behind his back formally.

"You saved my life."

"Uhura and I had something to do with it to, you know." Bones remarked from the other side of him, giving him a raised eyebrow that actually said, "Bitch, you wouldn't be alive if it weren't for us." Jim returned it as snarky as he could a manage, only glancing at him out of the corner of his eye before turning his attention back to the half-Vulcan in front of him, who was having a hard time not grinning from happiness. "You saved my life, Captain, and the lives of the-" Oh no. He wasn't going to listen to this shit. His grin not faltering, he interrupted him with a whisper and a slight head shake of disapproval. "Spock. Just..." He closed his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts that were mostly overrun by a certain Vulcan with his pointy ears, warm brown eyes, elevated eyebrows, and the slight smile that couldn't seem to escape his lips.

"Thank you." Jim finally got out.

"You are welcome, Jim." He felt a rush of satisfaction and something else he failed to identify when Spock actually said his name.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, Jim's awake. Yippie," Bones bit sarcastically, seriously killing the mood, "But visiting hours are long over, hobgoblin. I've let you slide a lot, but now, Jim needs his rest." Bones sent him a glare showing him that he meant all business, and Jim threw his own glare at the doctor, but he secretly wondered how often Spock was here, waiting for him to wake up.

"Understood, Doctor." Spock replied, before firmly nodding at Jim and beginning to turn away.

"Wait, Spock." Jim called after him, and tried not to cough from abusing his voice like that. One escaped and Bones sent him his famous, "Don't make me hypospray your ass" glare.

Spock did as he was requested and then turned to face the Captain. Jim felt silly for asking this, and decided to blame it on his meds. "Can you come back tomorrow?" Spock gave an affirmative nod. "As you wish. Rest well, Jim." As the Vulcan disappeared behind the automated doors, Bones scoffed. "I hope this shit isn't turning you into a pansy." He motioned to what seemed to be Kahn's blood. Jim smirked playfully. "Aw, c'mon, Bones, I was just about to declare my unrequited love for you." Bones couldn't help but laugh at least once, and with an eye roll, he ruffled Kirk's messy blond hair affectionately. "Good to have you back, kid. Now, you need to rest. Either sleep, or I'll make you." To show him that his threat was serious, he pulled out a hypospray and waved it menacingly. Jim didn't have the energy to even fight back, as he had used most of it to talk to his friends, so he just nodded and closed his heavy eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

* * *

"Jim-"

"Bones, I stink." Jim emphasized, attempting to stand from the bed again. It was the next day, and Jim was feeling a bit more energetic than yesterday.

And hygienic.

Bones pushed him back down by his shoulder gently, and Jim innerly cursed at the fact that he didn't have the strength to push back.

"It's not a good idea for you to be up for so long yet!" Bones exclaimed, keeping his hand on his shoulder. He didn't make any remark to how bony it was now that all his muscle had depleted. He knew how much his friend had loved being ripped, and how the would soon react to his unfitness.

"Then I'll only take five minutes!" Jim bargained, trying to stand again with no avail. He groaned. "Bones. Please. Here, smell me." He lifted his arm to shove his armpit in the doctor's face, who pushed his arm away and took a huge step back. "I don't want to smell your damn armpit!" He then grimaced, as the stench had already infected the air. "God, you smell like ass." Jim smirked in satisfaction and lowered his arm. Bones groaned exasperatedly, throwing his arms up in defeat. "If the water's not off in six minutes, I'll break down the damn door." Jim jumped up in the middle of his sentence, ignoring how the sudden movement made him feel as dizzy as hell and his legs wobble and tremble. He slowed down for his best friend's sake, but then turned to yell at him just as he made it to the door. "God damn it, Bones, I'm not a baby! I can take a shower on my own!"

"Well you're sure acting like one!" Bones yelled back, and then sighed heavily. He raked his fingers through his dark hair and softened his tone. "Look, kid, I know how hard this is for you. But if you want to get better, you have to take things slow. I mean, you died from radiation, okay?" He turned away so Jim wouldn't see the tears threatening to spill. "Your body is real weak right now." _Why the hell am I am upset again?! Damn, I need a drink._

Jim noticed his best friend's reaction and took a step forward. "Bones..." He frowned as Bones waved him off. "I'm fine, Jim. It was just really hard on all of us, you know? Everyone's still a little shaken up." Jim stepped closer to pull him into a hug, but halted when Bones yelled the first word of his next sentence. "_Don't_ hug me when you smell like a damn barnyard!" Jim chuckled and backed away. "Fine, we'll have our moment _after_ my shower."

"Can't wait." Bones muttered sarcastically, and the doors closed behind a grinning Jim.

The water felt so amazing, Jim wanted to stay under it forever. But he knew how against that Bones would be, so he washed his hair quickly. Then he got to his body.

He was horrified. All the muscle he had worked so hard to gain was basically gone. He was all pale skin and bones now, his tan diminished as well. He could see his fucking ribs, for Pete's sake! He groaned and fell against the cold tiled wall in shame.

"Jim? You alright?" Bones called from the other room, concern the primary tone in his voice.

"Just fine, Bones." Jim replied bitterly, finishing washing his deformed body and shutting off the water. He pulled a towel out of the cabinet and paused to look at himself in the slightly steamed up mirror. He looked worse from that point of view. His skin was a sickly pale, dark rings circled his eyes, and he looked so old with with sudden beard he needed to shave. Then there was the skeleton threatening to rip itself from his ugly skin. He quickly dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his thin waist. Bounding out of the bathroom, he exclaimed in a whine, "Bones, I look like shit!" That's when he noticed the doctor wasn't alone. Spock and Bones both turned to look at the damp male that had just burst out frantically.

"Jim." Spock spoke, staring at his captain with worry. Instead of wearing his formal Starfleet uniform, he was dressed in his usual attire, minus the cerulean shirt. Jim suddenly felt extremely self-cautious. His face flushing pink, he attempted to hide his ribs and lack-of-abs with his arms. "Spock. What are you doing here?"

Up went the infamous eyebrow. "You requested yesterday that I return the following day, which is now." _Oh. Right. _Shit.

Jim ducked down to search his Starfleet issued duffel bag for some clothes. "Did I?" Tooth brush, tooth paste, razor, all stuff he was planning on using- after he found some clothes. "Bones, where are my damn clothes? I'm tired of being in a hospital gown." _And I need an excuse to hide my body. _He stood to look at the doctor, but Spock was the one who spoke first, leaving McCoy to throw his hands up in defeat and walk to the other side of the room. Jim ran a hand down his face and turned away from Spock's burning gaze.

"Surely you remember saying so, Captain. But if now is an inconvenient time, I shall leave." Spock began to walk away and Jim yelled after him, thankful that his voice was cooperating with him today. "No!" Spock froze and turned back to the captain. Hearing Bones's mocking chuckle, the captain's face began to burn once again. He cleared his throat. "I mean, no, you're fine, just unexpected." He shot his gaze- which evolved into a glare- towards the doctor. "Bones, my clothes." he hissed angrily. Bones pulled out a grey T-shirt, some faded jeans, and a pair a boxers out of another bag Jim hadn't noticed earlier. "Right here, _Captain_." he retorted, crossing the room. Jim let out a sigh of relief as they were pressed into his awaiting arms. He noticed that the items were new and smaller than his usual attire- so Bones had been expecting this. He didn't know whether to be thankful or upset.

Spock's head was cocked to the side as he spoke once again. "I fail to understand why you did not expect me to arrive when you are the one who invited me in the first place." Jim groaned and threw his head up towards the ceiling. "Spock, not right now, _please_." Bones snorted and answered for the distressed blond. "Oh, he's just flustered because he's basically naked and not looking his sharpest in front of someone he actually cares about seeing his body." Jim's bright blue eyes narrowed at McCoy. "Bones!" he shouted, and the doctor laughed loudly. Spock, on the other hand, was even more confused than before. "I have seen the captain shirtless before and my presence has never mattered. Why would it now?" Jim pointed at the doctor's open mouth. "Bones shut your God damn mouth or so help me I will shove a hypospray down your throat." he threatened darkly, and then stormed into the bathroom. If he could've slammed the door, he would've.

* * *

He felt so much cleaner after shaving and brushing his teeth, but he also felt like he was about to fall over from exhaustion. He quickly made his way to the bio bed without as much as a glance towards his friends and fell into it. He burrowed his way under the covers and hid his eyes with the inside of his elbow.

"You feeling okay, kid?" Bones wondered, and Jim nodded. "Too much exercise, I guess." he murmured, head now pounding violently.

"Tell me what's going on or I won't be able to fix it." Bones ordered, and Jim uncovered his eyes to find Spock almost directly over him. He jumped. "Jesus Christ!" he whispered. Then he laughed quietly. "Someone outta put a bell on you."

"I second that notion." Bones agreed with the raise of his hand. Spock quirked his eyebrow at the two. "I believe we should worry about the captain's health and not the fact that I frighten you both simply by being quiet."

"Well, when you put it like that..." Bones muttered bitterly, and then stared at Jim expectedly, who sighed and started to list all of the things wrong with him. "Well, I've lost all my muscle mass, I'm as pale as fuck, I'm exhausted, I can't stand for thirty minutes without my legs trying to give out, and now, my head is pounding, I'm freezing, the lights are too bright, and you guys are too loud."

"Well I'm sorry we saved your life, _Princess_." Bones remarked, and then ordered the computer to dim the lights. "Spock, check Jim for a fever while I find the correct hypospray. He's hypersensitive right now and I'm out of that one." Spock gave a firm nod. "Yes, Dr. McCoy." He stepped closer to the blond and pressed the back of his hand to Jim's forehead, careful to avoid his fingers from going anywhere near his skin.

"Holy fuck, you're warm." Jim moaned with pleasure, shivering violently, and Spock stiffened as he felt said pleasure through their skin contact. As heat creeped up his neck and spread over his cheeks and up to his ears, he began to pull his hand away. "As are you, Captain." He had to remind himself that Jim was basically his boss and that it was against everything he knew to feel more than that. But his moan had sent waves of pleasure through him, and the feeling of his fingers brushing against his felt...nice.

Suddenly, he was desperate for Dr. McCoy's presence.

Jim snatched Spock's retreating hand and pressed his palm against his forehead. "Don' leave, that feels good." Jim's fingers were gripping his own, unknowingly being suggestive. The Vulcan swallowed loudly, his entire face hot and his heart thumping dramatically.

"Jim, I suggest you let me go or I will have to force you to." Spock choked out, and looked towards the door to see if Leonard was on his way back. No sign of him.

"But Spooock..." Jim whined, tightening his grip on Spock hand. And fingers. Spock yanked his hand from Jim's face and nearly sprinted out of the room, ignoring Jim's confused calls.

Bones found Spock leaning against the wall with his eyes tightly closed and his arms crossed over his chest. "What the hell, Hobgoblin?! I asked you to check Jim for a fever, not take a stroll down the halls of the Medical Center, no matter how fascinating you might find them."

"And you will find that he does have a fever and seems to be hallucinating, Dr. McCoy. I have my own reasons for leaving, and now that you are here, I must be on my way." And without another word, Spock sped down the hall and into the turbolift, leaving behind a very confused and angry Leonard to look after a very whiny and clingy Jim.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A/N- I'm actually really proud of this chapter. Like, seriously. I know it took forever to come out, but I am legitimately proud of how this turned out. So I really hope you guys like it because it's rare when I actually enjoy a piece of my own writing.**

**Okay so the next chapter is probably going to be really deep and emotional so enjoy some awkwardness and some humor in this one.**

* * *

Bones entered the room, not knowing what he expected to see until he didn't- the room was still in tact, and Jim was still in bed, still looking miserable. In fact, he looked even more so now. He couldn't tell if it was because he was trembling violently or because his first officer had rudely abandoned him.

"Bones. Bones, where's Spock?" Jim demanded with a slight slur. Bones was secretly preparing Jim's worst enemy- next to Khan of course- as he shrugged in reply. "I don't know. He just ran off." Bones wasn't about to ask why, either- he couldn't care less about the green-blooded hobgoblin. If Jim screwed with his head, whoopdie-freaking-do (But vice-versa, he'd kill the son-of-a-bitch right where he stood). He parted his lips in order to expand on the subject, so Bones just hurried with the Hypospray.

Jim didn't have the opportunity to bother Bones for more information. He yelped and nearly jumped right out of the bio bed as something sharp was jabbed into his neck. Bringing his hand up to the inflicted area, he stared accusingly at Bones. "Ow! That hurt!"

"Well whining won't make it any better." Bones properly disposed of the hypospray, then turned back to the man-child. "That should ease up your hypersensitivity." All of the sudden, Jim giggled- fucking giggled, of all things- and reached for the doctor, who was quick to slide out of reach with huge eyes. He wasn't going to let Jim make a move on him again, if that's what he was about to do- that one time in Academy where he kissed him was enough. "You sound jus' like Spock, sayin' big words like that." His slur was growing worse, and as was his babbling. Dr. McCoy was 99% sure that meant the hypo was working, and was making him drowsy enough to sleep. "Hopefully, your fever will go down too- you usually become insane when that happens." He thought back to the last time Jim had a real bad fever- back in their academy days, once again. Jim had been convinced that Earth was becoming an orange because of the color of the sunset.

Also, that he could fly.

Bones never let him leave the dorm room with his temperature even one degree above normal again.

"'M fine, Bonesy..." And McCoy knew he really wasn't. He checked the captain's temperature again, hoping it had lowered from its alarming 104.6.

_104.1. Getting there._

"Don't call me that unless you want to roll around in a wheelchair for the rest of your life." The threat did nothing to the unstable man, because all he did was begin laughing again. "Oh, I love you, Bones." Bones groaned loudly and dropped his face into his hands. "You know, you weren't supposed to be serious about the whole 'unrequited love' thing."

"Why not? Don' you love me?" Jim's watery blue eyes showed that he was genuinely upset about this, but Bones didn't see this until after he opened his big mouth. "No. You're a pain in my ass." Then he turned back to Kirk's bloodshot eyes and damp face and he felt...well...like an ass. He glanced away quickly so he didn't have to see his misery any more than he was going to have to.

"Oh, kid, you know you're like family to me. Quit the waterworks." Considering he was the worst at comforting, he prayed to every single being out there that his hidden "I love you too, you poor bastard" would suffice. But when he looked back towards Jim, he was fast asleep. Releasing a breath he hadn't known he was holding, he checked his temperature once again.

103.4.

Lowering steadily, he thought, and collapsed in a nearby chair. He scrubbed his face vigorously. His beard scratched against his worn hands and he made a mental note to shave later, once Jim was well and awake.

Suddenly, the doorbell chimed quietly. Bones glanced at Jim to make sure he hadn't woken up- which, he didn't even stir. Figuring it was most likely the hobglobin once again, and he would just override the system code if Bones was too slow, he jumped up and allowed entrance to-

"Dr. Marcus." Bones was genuinely flabbergasted to see the blonde standing there, although he didn't know why. Many of the employees visited Jim while he was out, and earlier Bones had delivered the message to the entire crew that their captain had awoken- that was destined to have a lot of feedback.

Carol Marcus, though, he would rather have here. She stood smirking, wearing a denim jacket over a white, low-cut tank, a light brown, above-the-knee skirt, and darker brown boots that reached her shin. She looked amazing, but Bones wasn't about to admit that aloud.

"It's Carol while we're off duty." she reminded him with a teasing grin and in her usual accent. Bones felt like kicking himself. "Of course, of course." Carol giggled. "Are you going to let me in?" Bones realized he was blocking the entire doorway and stepped aside, gesturing for her to pass. She entered the room and approached Jim's sleeping form. "How is he doing?" Bones got over his stupidity and went into "Dr. McCoy mode," as Jim referred to it as.

"He was fine for 30 minutes, showering and shaving and such. I told him not to take so long, but- well..." He paused to glance at the trouble-maker. "You know our Jimmy here." He resisted the urge to pat his arm. "He has a fever that's lowering- earlier he was hallucinating and acted like he was drunk off his ass. Even scared Spock away." Carol nodded with raised blonde eyebrows. "Wow." She seemed impressed or maybe even a little surprised. "Wasn't he here as often as possible, waiting for him to wake up?" She hadn't been around, but Uhura had spoken to her about the situation. Apparently, Spock hardly left Jim's side unless ordered to by Leonard or to use important facilities. Nyota would visit and ask Spock if he wanted to go out and do something, but he would quietly decline and avert her concerned and hurt gaze. She went on explaining that Spock would avoid her as much as possible and she really had no idea why, and she didn't know whether to end their relationship or compromise- either way, she would have to force Spock to confront her.

Bones rubbed his chin thoughtfully, and then cringed at the stubble. He pulled his hand away. "Exactly. I'm wondering if Jim kissed him or some shit. Because that wouldn't be the first time- he's even kissed me before." He pointed to himself with his thumb with raised, enthusiastic eyebrows, and Carol giggled. Bones noticed the way her deep blue eyes would light up when she smiled and/or laughed, but forced the thought out of his head, wondering when in the world he had suddenly become infatuated with Carol Marcus.

Carol's grin turned into a smirk as she spoke rather flirtatiously. "I don't know whether to be sorry for you or jealous of him." Bones waved off not only her, but the blush boiling to life within his cheeks. "Oh, Sweetheart, that's nothing to be jealous of."

"I beg to differ." Carol remarked. The comment left him red in the face and speechless- since when was Leonard McCoy speechless around girls? He knew how to flirt- in fact, the first time he worked with Carol, he was the one flirting while Jim was telling him to get serious...then he almost died, but that's besides the point.

"So how are you doing, Leonard?" Carol stepped in before the doctor's jaw fell off from working so much.

The cat finally gave him back his tongue. "Huh? Me?" He swallowed before speaking actual words. "Oh, I'm fine." Carol wasn't impressed. "Right. That's why you look like shit." She gestured to his unshaven face, dark bags under his hazel eyes that indicated his lack of sleep, and his mussy hair. "You need to take a break and do something about it."

"I need to watch Jim..." Bones protested. Carol shook her head, determined to have him take care of himself. "I'm here. I can watch Jim. If something happens, I'll come and get you."

"Are you sure?" Bones knew he wasn't.

Carol placed her hands on his chest and pushed him towards the door. "Positive. Now go!" Bones chuckled and surrendered with the raise of his hands.

* * *

Bones felt so much better after cleaning himself up. Fatigue still threatened him and the bags under his eyes, but that was something he could deal with.

"I can't thank you enough." he admitted gratefully, still in uniform but at least in a fresh one. He crossed the room and checked Jim's fever- which was low, but still existent. He grunted as he lowered himself into a chair beside Carol. "Damn, I'm getting old."

"You're not old." Carol protested, and although she was grinning, her statement was serious. He shrugged. "It's just that I have a six-year old daughter and an ex-wife and I'm tired and sore...it just feels like I'm old." He knew it was mostly due to stress, but the thought of Joanne relieved him of some of it. He couldn't wait until he got to see her again. It had been much too long.

"You have a daughter?" Carol asked, both eyebrows raised in almost disbelief. She really didn't think he seemed that old, but his daughter was six after all. She hoped that she would soon be introduced to her.

Bones nodded with a soft smile planted on his chapped lips. "Yeah. Her name's Joanne. My ex-wife keeps her most of the time. But I figure when Jim's feeling better I can go visit her or have her stay with me a while. Use those Starfleet issued apartments or whatever." He wondered if they were even worth checking out. As if the blonde had read his mind, she informed him cheerfully, "They're really nice, actually- I'm staying in one."

"Is anyone else?"

"Well I hear from Hikaru that Chekov's visiting family in Russia, and I believe Scotty is staying on the Enterprise while he help fixes her up. I haven't heard from anyone else other than Nyota." she explained. Bones nodded, a thoughtful look gracing his features. "How's she?" Carol gave a long sigh, her shoulders sagging as she studied the blinding-white ground. "Concerned about her and Spock, but otherwise she's fine."

Bones rolled his eyes, as he had done so much, it became a habit. "I'm just wondering what's going on in his damn head." He scratched his own, as if doing so would pull out the answer. Of course, it didn't so he added, "But he's a Vulcan, so we're not going to figure out much."

"Leonard..." Carol warned him, and Bones apologized. "Sorry. I just don't like him. He marooned Jim on Delta Vega back when he was Captain and-" Carol became confused and couldn't help but interrupting. "He was Captain?" It dawned on Bones that Carol was new, and since her father hid things from her, she wasn't told the beginning of all this- she just was aware of the incident with Nero. But Bones didn't know if he would have the time or the ability to tell it. "It's a long story." he decided.

Carol grinned and leaned closer to him. "It's okay- I like long stories."

And, well, who could argue with a pretty blonde British girl leaning right over you and practically onto your lap?

Bones started with the day he met Jim- how he was drunk off his ass and warned him that he might throw up all over the kid. He went a little into their usual Academy days and then began the actual plot line, such as how Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru test, designed by Spock to be a no-win scenario. ("He was eating an apple, the smug bastard.")

Carol continued laughing at Bones's harsh yet hilarious side comments, and "aw"ing at the sad aspects.

And suddenly, a hoarse, fatigued voice pitched in. "You forgot the part where I won the beautiful and talented Nyota Uhura's heart." Carol jumped, startled, but Bones played right along. "Oh yeah, you mean right after your jokes actually made someone laugh?"

"Yeah, it was you who laughed. And then I made out with her. Two miracles in one day." Jim continued. Bones didn't bother to insult him further, and just rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Jim answered honestly, stretching with a moan. He rubbed his eyes before settling back down. He grinned at Carol. "Dr. Marcus."

"Carol, Jim. Carol." she corrected. Jim nodded very slightly. "Oh, right, right..." He then realized Carol had replaced Spock's presence and voiced his curiosity. "How long have I been out?"

Bones was checking his temperature and other health concerns as he answered. "Almost two hours. Do you remember anything?" Maybe they would figure out what happened while McCoy was out of the room...but he knew from experience that Jim very seldom remembered any of his hallucinations and experiences during his fevers.

"Last thing I remember is getting back into bed after shaving." Jim recalled. Bones filled the captain in very straightforwardly. "Well you had a fever, so you were acting so looney that you scared Spock off." Jim groaned frustratedly, digging the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. "Fuck," he cursed, "And you didn't go after him?"

Bones threw him an exasperated glare. "I had to take care of your sorry ass! I'm sorry I didn't have time to play Vulcan match maker!"

"Well what did I do?" Jim demanded, fearing the worst. He prayed to whatever entity was above him that he didn't kiss the dude. Apparently, that happened with him and Bones once, and he was ecstatic that he didn't recall anything from that night.

Bones pushed his fingers though his hair with a heavy sigh. "I was out of the room, Kid! I don't know." he admitted. _Shit_. _Shit shit shit_. Jim knew he was in for it. He sat upright- and a little too quickly to not be dizzy- and very seriously ordered, "Call him. Now."

"Boys, stop your bickering!" Carol interfered before Jim did anything stupid. They shut up and straightened up almost immediately. "Leonard. Contact Spock, tell him that Jim's awake and he's requesting him. Jim? Calm down before you have a heart attack." They all turned to monitor that beeped rapidly at all of them. Jim took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. Maybe he didn't do anything that bad.

Or maybe he was horribly wrong.

* * *

It wasn't until much later after Bones had gone out to eat with Carol (Jim insisted, Spock assured them that he would be with Jim to take care of him not long after they left) that the Vulcan arrived. Jim was in the middle of reading when the doors opened. He grinned warily, glad to see his friend but already embarrassed as to what he had done...

"Hey, Spock." He placed his book face down on his lap, playing off like he had no idea that there was something wrong for now. After all, Spock was reluctant to come in the first place...

"Hello, Jim." Spock seemed normal as he approached. "What are you reading?" Jim looked down at his book. "Oh, just an old favorite of mine. It's called _Harry Potter. _It's about wizards and stuff." He was starting the first one again, even though he already knew the ending.

"It sounds highly illogical." Spock replied, but a tiny smile broke through his usual stoic façade. A grin erupted on Jim's own face at the Vulcan's amusement. "Maybe. But sometimes, you need a break from reality, you know?" Suddenly his mood became dark. "This is the series that got me through my younger years. Anytime Frank was drunk or abusive or screaming...anytime he fought with my mom or my mom fought with me...after Sam ran away..." Jim then straightened up like a wilted flower receiving sunlight and water after a prolonged absence of it. He didn't need to tell Spock his problems- after all, he knew about most of his past. "Anyway." Spock nodded, understanding that he did not want to go into more detail, so he took a seat in a chair by the bed and redirected the conversation. "Were you attempting to mentally escape reality before I arrived?" Oh. Well so much for temporarily avoiding the situation. (Like that was the best option in the first place...)

"Eh...kinda. I've got a lot on my mind right now." Jim admitted hesitantly.

"Would you like to elaborate?" _No._

_Well if you don't, you won't ever know what happened._

_It's now or never, Jim._

"Um...did I...do something stupid earlier?"

Something unintelligible flashed across Spock's face, but the blond guessed it was horror. "You did nothing 'stupid', Captain, as you were not in the correct state of mind-" He was avoiding the subject, or what Jim liked to call, "Lying the Vulcan way."

He interrupted the rambling with a groan. "Spock. Don't even try to wiggle your way out of this one." One dark eyebrow arched towards the ceiling. "'Wiggle', Captain?" Jim had to choke back his laugh at the humor of Spock saying such a child-like word. He clarified before he started to giggle like a madman. "When you don't want to answer something, you try to avoid it because 'Vulcans can't lie'. Tell me what I did." Spock was very hesitant to speak, and he turned his head away, but not before Jim saw the pale green that dusted his cheeks and tips of his ears. That was definitely not good.

But the Vulcan spoke up, although his voice was strained. "You...initiated hand contact with me because I was warm. Then you made strange noises of..." He forced the next word out of his suddenly tight throat, "pleasure."

It was Jim's turn to blush. Face hot, he groaned, "Oh God," and threw his arm over his eyes as if that would hide him from the embarrassment. "I am so sorry."

"Do not apologize. Again, you were not aware of your actions." Spock insisted, daring enough to turn back to the captain. Luckily, his eyes were still covered, so he didn't have to initiate eye contact...with those electric blue eyes, he knew he didn't have the strength.

_You are physically as four times as strong as a human and even more so emotionally...yet you cannot look into the eyes of your own captain._

But he knew he wasn't all Vulcan- he was half. And that meant he was going to have more human tendencies. For years he was ashamed of that half of him, but he knew better now than to feel in such a way. It was part of him, and he would embrace it. He thanked Jim, Nyota, a few other Enterprise members, and, of course, his mother For that.

He began to think about Nyota, though, and shoved her from his mind. Their relationship was much too rocky to ponder about right then.

Jim was still as embarrassed as hell and stayed as hidden as he could- he could feel Spock's coffee-colored eyes boring into him, which ignited his already warm face even more. "But you guys have that whole thing about sensitive hands and..." -realization dawned on him. "_Shit_. Did I _kiss_ you?" Spock's eyebrows climbed to the ceiling, his flush growing hotter. He wasn't aware that he knew about Vulcan kissing, but alas, Jim Tiberius Kirk never ceased to surprise or amaze him. He cleared his throat before answering, aware of how strained his voice would be if he did not do so. "Of course not, Captain. I will admit that if that were the case, there is a 58% I would not be here at this time." Factoring in the possibility that he was dying, or actually wanted to kiss Spock-

Why would _that_ matter?

And now his percentage was void.

Jim finally peaked out from the shelter of his arm. He lowered the pale, bony limb, grimacing at it as he spoke. "A 58% chance, huh?" He smirked at Spock teasingly. "Do you not think that I would be one hell of a kisser?" Spock gaped at him, willing away any blood flow to places they should not of been moving to- whether bursting onto his face or pooling in his abdomen like a sense of impending doom. He struggled to speak, resembling a fish out of water, gasping for air. "I-"

Jim's laughter sounded a bit like giggling. "Spock. Calm down, I was just kidding."

Spock swallowed hard. "I am calm."

"Sure you are." Jim's smirk only grew, but he decided to change the subject for the sake of the Vuclan's comfort zone. "You know what I've been wanting to do?" He almost said "dying to do," but with his actual death not that long ago, he figured that would be an inappropriate choice of words.

"What is that?"

With a challenging grin on his face, he answered. "Kick your Vulcan ass at chess."


End file.
